Believe in Us - If You Forget Me Outtake
by ct522
Summary: Written in response to an Everlark Drabble Challenge by buttercupisbrainless with the prompt "Let me take care of you" and the phenomenal artwork created by Ackennedy7. Peeta struggles to overcome the last barrier of intimacy between him and Katniss. Part of the If You Forget Me universe.


Believe in Us (Outtake from _**If You Forget Me**_)

Peeta sat as quiet as a cornerstone on the edge of the bed. To anyone who observed him, he appeared completely immobile, the only sign of movement the steady rise and fall of his broad chest. He was the picture of serenity and patience.

But Katniss knew him better than anyone else. It was not peace that held him in place. It was the rigid immobility of terror. She kneeled before him, feeling the soft crush of the carpeted floor of his bedroom. Glancing just beyond him, she observed the soft copper and brown tile floor of his recently refurbished bathroom, complete with a large, open shower, a sturdy ledge upon which he could sit, a rubber, textured floor to help his good leg remain steady without fear of slippage, and a stand for his prosthetic leg.

He was frozen by fear. Katniss could feel it oozing from his pores.

"Are you ready?" she asked quietly, her hands resting on his thigh, just above the prosthetic.

"Katniss…" he whispered and she leaned up to leave a feather-light kiss on his pursed lips.

"Peeta, I've already seen you with your leg off…" she pleaded gently.

"Yeah, but not without the sleeve. You've never…" he took in a ragged breath, his back finally moving as the air penetrated deep into his lungs. "You've never seen it without the liner. It's…"

"Ugly? Puckered? Scarred?" Katniss said harshly, watching him flinch at the words. "You lost your leg, Peeta." Her voice became softer, dropping nearly to a whisper. "But you're alive and I love you the way you are."

Peeta's frown deepened. He appeared close to tears but he nodded quietly in acquiescence. Katniss unclasped the fasteners that held the prosthetic to the metal extension that had been surgically attached to his thigh bone above the knee. Sliding off the remarkably heavy plastic and metal leg, she set it gently in the stand near the bed as if he was still capable of feeling the now floating appendage, modeled expertly to stand in for the one he had lost in the car accident that dark, fateful night. The metal shaft was nestled in the hole of a thick, elastic sleeve that covered the amputation site and reached nearly up to his groin. It served to keep the fitted plastic that cupped his thigh from chafing against the skin and muscle of his leg.

Katniss had seen Peeta naked a thousand times since his return from the hospital one year ago. All the times they'd been intimate, he'd always insisted on leaving the sleeve on. Katniss had not protested, letting him decide when to take the next step of removing the final barrier between them. She'd learned from the local support group for amputees and their partners that this was an important passage that could not be rushed.

Peeta let her know he was ready the night of the one year anniversary of his return from Boulder. He explained that though he was still somewhat ashamed of his body, he needed to fully accept his body and he wouldn't get that if he kept hiding from her. He wanted Katniss to love all of him, even the damaged, missing parts.

"I don't want anything between us. This is who I am and I can't change that." he explained.

"I already love all of you. It's you who doesn't." she whispered, grateful that he'd finally gotten to this point with her. "You have no idea, the effect you have on me." It was no exaggeration - to her, he was as handsome as the day of the accident. He wore his spun-gold hair longer these days, his eyes that same stunning blue she'd always associated with him. And she desired him as much, if not more, than when he'd been whole. Maybe it was because she'd lost him and thought she'd never find him again, but his amputation had done nothing to quell her feelings for him.

Yet at this moment, he appeared like a rabbit caught in a snare and she was sure he would bolt out the door if given half the chance. She didn't like thinking that he felt somehow forced to do this. She held his gaze, so blue and vulnerable, as her fingers hovered over the edge of the sleeve, giving him one last out, a chance to preserve this part of him if that was what he needed from her. Though he trembled in fear, he gave a short nod and Katniss rewarded him with a small smile of her own.

Slowly, she rolled the thick elastic down his thigh, a short trip that ended at the metal stub. The elastic contracted around itself, almost in relief. The skin of his thigh bore the imprint of the sleeve but he had not exaggerated - where his thigh ended, the area of the amputation, was pinched, like a pair of socks that had been folded over on itself, the roll of skin that bunched around the metal appearing unnatural.

In Peeta's physical therapy classes, she'd been taught how to massage the limb, so she set herself to implement her learning. Peeta stared at her, perhaps seeking out signs of disgust in her actions but all that was to be found was Katniss, gently but firmly pressing his thigh, bringing blood back to the surface that had been compressed by the sleeve. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of his scars, the raised surgical lines and the folded skin.

"Are you grossed out?" he joked but his insecurities were laid bare by that one statement.

Katniss opened her bright grey eyes slowly, giving him a gentle look. "No." she said simply before bringing her lips down to his leg. It was so unexpected, he did not have a chance to protest. She kissed the skin above the metal. Peeta's breath caught in his chest at the sensation of her lips fluttering warmly against that mostly neglected part of his body. He repressed the urge to push her away and cover himself. It was his turn to close his eyes and revel in how very naturally his skin came alive under her kisses, despite the scars that rendered some parts insensitive.

Her fingers slipped cautiously under the edge of his boxers, pushing them back and exposing the sensitive skin of his inner thigh to her attentions. She felt his desire for her harden until his boxers tented with its proof. She took extra care with him, removing the shorts and freeing his rigid cock from its captivity. Carefully, as if he would break, she wrapped her fingers around him, watching with satisfaction the clenching and unclenching of his stomach muscles as she rubbed up and down his shaft. She kissed his velvety skin and the wide, shiny tip before taking him in her mouth, sucking at first gently before moving rhythmically over him.

He hissed, her name becoming lost in the noises of pleasure he made as she felt him tighten in that way that let her know he was close.

Releasing her hold on him with her lips, she stroked him as she rained kissed along his stomach and thighs, taking particular care with the scarred leg, bathing it in her attention. When he ran his hands in her hair, tugging her back towards his swollen cock, she sheathed him in her mouth, intent on relieving him of his agony. His hips buckled involuntarily before he let go, releasing himself into her waiting mouth, groaning with satisfaction at the exquisite feeling of her lips around him.

"Katniss…" he said sadly after a few moments. "You deserve so much better…"

She jerked upright, her face contorted in anger. "Don't do that again! That kind of thinking is why you ended up in Colorado for an entire year!" She stood suddenly and straddled him, running her hands through his hair. "You are exactly what I deserve."

"I'm hideous." he groused.

"You're beautiful!" she gasped, kissed him, at first chastely, then with more ardor as she drowned his protest under the weight of her kisses. "We've known each other all of our lives! If this had happened to me, would you have been disgusted?"

"No!" he said indignantly.

"Then why do you think so little of me?" Her eyes flashed dangerously in anger. "I told you - you only get one pass at underestimating me…"

Before she could complete her threat, he'd flipped her over onto her back, kissing her roughly until they were both breathless. His leg, now free of constraints, rested between Katniss' thighs, the metal stud poking the inside of her knee.

"I believe you." he said before slipping his hand under her tank top, his thick fingers moving beneath the underwire of her bra and freeing one round, taut breast. Running his tongue over the dark tip, he watched it become hard as if straining to meet his hungry lips. Their conversation changed and became the one they knew well, where coherence had no meaning and only their moans held sway. He felt a familiar pang of longing for her, similar to the ones he experienced when he was in those beautiful but cold mountains, under those hopeless stars, trying to make peace with his body and to a life without her. He'd somewhat succeeded at one and happily failed at the other.

With that memory of her absence fresh in his mind, he kissed his way down her body until he rested between her firm thighs. He licked and sucked on her, taking extra care to elicit those sounds which he knew meant she was coming undone. He was happy to make her climax not once but stayed, lapping gently on her now sensitive folds, his tongue dancing and his fingers plunging into her until she came again, tugging his hair hard as the pleasure seized her body, sending it into spasms of pleasure.

Pulling towards him a large pillow they'd bought for this purpose, he positioned it deftly beneath his leg and, kissing Katniss, sank into her still fluttering depths, a deep groan of satisfaction escaping both of them. Using his arms as leverage, he plunged deeply into her, moving his hips in the way he'd discovered made her call out in excitement. Katniss gasped at his frenetic pace and frenzied desire to be as close to her.

He brought his lips to her ear and whispered the things he knew would make her fall apart, how he'd loved her ever since they were children, the way she looked when they first made love under the stars in the back of his crappy Jetta, how he'd missed her every day they'd been apart, the indescribable joy of being together with her in their treehouse on that endless night more than a year ago. These things still had the power to bring her to tears and she cried as she came, her nails clawing his back under the maelstrom of feeling he'd created in her and he could not help but be in awe of her as they peaked and fell apart, descending back to earth together.

"I believe you." he repeated into her dark, tangled hair, as if they were continuing their conversation without interruption.

Katniss grabbed both sides of Peeta's face and pulled him up to look at her. "Believe _in us_. And let me take care of you."

Peeta's eyes softened, the gleam of lust fleeing his eyes, leaving a tender gentleness in its wake. "Okay, if you let me do the same for you."

Snuggling into the crook of his arm, Katniss signed contentedly. "Of course. It's what we've always done."


End file.
